How to Help the Newly Unemployed (NU)

In light of the current economic times, and in finding myself a new .00000000001 in the unemployment percentage, I have some observations that might be helpful to those of you who are thankfully, and blessedly, still employed, in dealing with that friend, loved one, neighbor or acquaintance who has suddenly found themselves sans job.

Some DOs and DON'Ts:

1. DO, upon hearing that your friend has joined the ranks of the NU: BE OUTRAGED for them. Tell them that you can't believe a company would be so STUPID as to let go of such a valuable employee - what are they NUTS? Did they use any criteria or JUDGMENT when they made that boneheaded call? Obviously your friend is TOO GOOD FOR THAT PLACE and the company's imminent doom is apparent if they can't make decisions any better than that. Hell, your friend is lucky s/he GOT OUT NOW, even if it wasn't by their own choosing. So long and good riddance, idiot company! Onwards and upwards. You can probably go too far with this, so be succinct with it, but let your friend know that they are valuable and anyone who doesn't think so SUCKS.

2. DON'T, upon hearing that your friend has joined the ranks of the NU: be casual about it. This is NOT the time for platitudes. "Oh, I'm sure something better will come along." "Enjoy the vacation!" "Ugh, I hate my job, I wish they would fire ME." "Gee, that sucks. But hey, I sent you a link to this comedy website - maybe it'll cheer you up!" - these kind of responses are sure to make the NU feel like you completely don't grasp the gravity of the situation, or that you just don't give a damn. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, or if you think being light-hearted about it is the way to go - ignoring the ugly fact that the NU has LOST THEIR JOB, and at this moment doesn't know when or how to get another one, is ignoring the reality of the situation. Ignoring the reality of the situation is what got the country into this economic mess; therefore, it's not a recommended strategery.

3. DO offer any helpful assistance you can to the NU. Listen to what the NU's concerns are, and if you have any leads - offer them! Got a lead on a job in their field - pass it on! Have a friend who's a great networker - introduce them to the NU. Know of a great sale, cheap rent on a good place, someone who might want to buy something the NU might need to sell - hook a friend up, G! Offer to babysit for free while the NU is on a job interview, or drive them to the interview... Anything you can do will be greatly appreciated and could be more instrumental in helping the NU than you even think.

4. DON'T add to the NU's money or life worries by ratcheting up the panic/victimization factor. "OMG! How will you SURVIVE?!?!" for example, is NOT helpful. Nor is, "How long will your health insurance benefits last - can you get COBRA?" Also, the NU doesn't want to hear tales of woe about your other NU friends, or worse yet your Long-Term Unemployed friends. The NU is going to have to figure the life/money/work situation out for themselves - they don't need their friends and/or family panicking FOR them. No one wants to think that their friends think they're headed for tent city, even if they are.

5. DON'T pity the NU. For example, if the NU posts something like, oh, I don't know "Jentutsy is feeling a little unmovtivated today..." The correct comment to this is "Me, too." Or "Take the Day off!" not "OMG, I hope you start feeling better soon, I mean, I know you will EVENTUALLY, but this is just so sad, and I just feel so bad for you..." This will ENSURE the NU stays unmotivated. Humor, goodwill and honest positivity (i.e. NO platitudes, see above) go a long way. Even if we are NU, we are struggling to put things in perspective and prioritize. We're realizing that we have people who love us, and our health (hopefully) and that things could be worse - we could be dead, or be that poor lady that got attacked by the chimp. And that makes us feel grateful for what we DO have. So don't take that away from the NU by pitying them. (Oh, and one other note, while it's ok for the NU to realize that they're lucky to not be the poor lady who got attacked by the chimp, it's not ok for YOU to point that out. That makes you smug.)

The biggest thing you can do for the NU is to be a resource. Someone who listens, and when they can, facilitates some help in whatever small way they can. The biggest thing we can do in these hard times, is help take care of each other.